| Mother saga revisited. |
[Jun. 13th, 2005|11:23 pm] |
Oh my once again...
I take empty food dish in to kitchen when i was finished stuffing face. Yeah you could call it dinner but ugh. I didn't need it and wasn't hungry but it sounded so so nice and i had wanted it yesterday.
So mum snottily says...oooh i forgot to eat tonight. maybe she didn't mean that as I took it but still.
*walks away*
So later...mum brings in a shirt from like walmart work out department "is this yours?"
Looks at size no it's a medium from walmart not mine. Mind you this is meant to fit skin tight tank that you wear to work out. not a tee shirt dealy. Mum can wear a medium from walmart. I wear small/or xs in shirts there. so this to me says they over extend their sizing to make the chunky old people happy. So she launches in the tirade about how it must be mine because it doesn't fit her at all. It's lycra she says...it fits to your body. I say yes, well it won't shrink to a body and id' have to wear a bra with it. SHe goes on about how she wears one. So me, losing patience and feeling evil said "yes well you are droopy (naughty fraggie to hint at age) She got very mad and stomped away. oops well the truth hurts sometimes mum. you are old and droopy it's part of age.
But argh she always comes home beaming that she can wear a medium or something when it's really a large in normal sizes. It pisses me off so much because i wear mediums in normal store shirts or maybe smalls depending on styles. I hate hate hate her flaunting size/food etc. It feels like she is both making fun of me and trying to compete. Fuck you mum.
How am i ever supposed to see myself as less than fat when she claims same size and all i see is a giant tire!
bangs head on wall.
I wish she was tall, if she was tall and i were short, then trying to figure out same size in relation to hieght would fucking confuse me so much i wouldn't be able to moan.
_end rant_ |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|09:47 pm] |
not worth it
fuck this shit she's going off and she's spinning round. |
|
|
| sigh |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|08:21 pm] |
work tomorrow. I'll be out front i think at least most of the day. I'd rather be washing dishes out the back...anything to be away from people. All i can hear when i'm out front...is people saying "they have the fat girl serving food" "oh my god she's disgusting" etc. Yes rationally they aren't saying that, but in my head that's what seems to be screaming at the moment. To the point of either wanting to scream at myself to shut up or run headfirst into the nearest wall. Yes that seems the easiest solution.
Forgive me if i'm not strong enough. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2004|11:56 pm] |
I don't know
I don't know up nor down
sideways and you're wondering what the fuck have you been missing
nothing is ever good enough and now you know why you long for the burn.
never good enough. How many times have you said it. it's confirmed you wasted space. you creature...thing you see in the mirror. What are you doing. Why are you still here. you can't feel, can't see, can't turn away. You should not be in existence...you should not be alive...you should not be here. Hear...the sea calling. Waves rolling over the drone of a tv in the background. you can almost see it despite the distance. You've heard it calling for days...with the wind...even the wind calls your name. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
siftingtheashes's journal